Warning to all you Lord of the Rings fanatics: I am REALLY changing the story! Don't get miffed at me, please. It is just a story, right? Thanks :-)
Renae was walking through a charming little town called the 'shire'. She was glad to finally reach civilization again, even though it did seem a bit primitive. The way to the shire was even a longer way to walk than the Red-Brick Road. Renae's feet were aching, and she yearned for a hot meal.
She had been eating off of berry-bushes on the way, which was not very sustaining. It was a good thing that she had bought a lot of beef-jerky and some other provisions at the Great Wal-mart. Also, she had bought a back-pack to put her things in, such as a rain poncho, a scarf, her wallet, and other essentials.
Renae stepped into a merry little salloon, 'The Green Dragon'. She ordered a meal and a warm drink and enjoyed watching the towns-people -- who, for some reason, were mostly very short -- laugh and sing a few songs on while standing on tabletops. After she had eaten, she stepped outside, where night was just falling. She spent the night at an inn and set off again the next day.
***
Renae stumbled again. She didn't ever think she'd get used to these horrible, rocky terrains. It had been nine days since her cozy dinner at The Green Dragon, and she felt as though this journey was her whole life; as if she'd never known anything else. It felt so long since she had been living a comfortable life back in her house in front of the woods. There was a little hole in the window in her room of the house that let in drafts. She was even missing that little house-hole, and not for the last time, either.
Suddenly, there was the sound of a long, tortured scream: "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" It was the worst sound that Renae had heard in her life. Then, a terrible shrimpy, gaunt creature jumped out at her and started to point his skinny little finger at her, shrieking, "Hobbitses! There it is! It's a stranger, isn't it precious!"
Two short little men, like the ones in the saloon, emerged from the brambles and the pudgier of the two scolded the creature for being so foolish.
Renae was not very shocked. Encounters like this were starting to become routine.
"We're horribly sorry miss," said the pudgy one. "This here monster's a bit of a loony." The thinner shorty, 'Mr. Frodo', apparently, and stepped in front of Pudgy.
"Noooo, Sam. It's my burden to bear, Sam," he said in a melancholy, monotone voice. And then he said it again, and again, and again.
Renae bent over to Pudgy, or 'Sam' as he was called, and whispered, "Is Mr. Frodo a 'bit of a loony' as well?"
Sam nodded. "I'm afraid he's been goin' on like this for several hours. The only thing that works to temporarily cure 'im is to hit 'im over the head with a frying pan. But I've been lettin' it go for a while, because when he isn't actin' all crazy like this, he's makin' me carry all of our stuff, every last pot."
Renae looked at Frodo, and then at the ugly little beast, and then she turned back to Sam.
"So basically," she said. "What you're telling me is that you're the only sane one here."
Sam nodded. "Until I hit Mr. Frodo over the head with my pan that is. You look lost. If you like, you can ask that little monster over there for directions, although I don't know if you should trust him. However, he does know the area quite well."
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